How to Get a Boy You Like

Hey y’all! Today I am going to be explaining how to get a boyfriend in three steps! Some boyfriends are easy to aquire, but some take more convincing. Now listen to my advice and follow these steps to get the man of your dreeeeeaaaammmmssssss.

1. Ask them questions, get to know them!
- Do any common diseases run in your family? Heart disease? Diabetes? AIDS? (Important to know for future children)
- How is your relationship with your mother?
- Do you like sports? (If they proceed to talk about it, pretend to me interested or say you don’t care)
- What is your yearly salary? Here is my ring size.
- How often do you wipe your crevices?
- Do you like pets? My lizard will eat you if you don’t.
2. Get really close to them
Boys love when you get to know them really really well, even beyond the questions! Here are some tips and tricks on where to get close.
- Sniff their hair - they enjoy being complemented on their shampoo. If they have dandruff, tell them! If you really like the guy, it’s also a really good idea to offer to pick out the flakes for them. Even if they decline having their dandruff picked out, do it anyway secretly to show you have dedication!
- Lick their nose- Guys enjoy texture! Sometimes, if you catch them after sports, their nose- especially the crease- tastes really salty and moist! A delicious treat!
- Caress their eyebrows- Boys enjoy a good face massage. You can even feel the consistency of their hairs so you can see how your children’s hair might feel!

 3. Insult their manhood Teasing a boy is a great way to establish trust, because they always know your joking! Here are some examples on what to say!

 - You are awful at fortnite
- You are short
- Your hands are soft
 - You are the best friend ever, like a brother to me!
- Your hair would look better if you used more gel -
 Hockey and football are super easy
- Maybe you should start working out
 Here are the three most effective ways to get a boyfriend! Thank you for reading, please try this out, comment if this worked for you!

 *Disclamier- This is all a joke. I am not insane.*